I realized this morning how much resistance I put up against feeling good. I was thinking about my goals and what I wanted to manifest in my life and I suddenly had the thought, “it can’t be done”. I began to doubt myself and any good feelings I had suddenly turned into a mixture of doubt and fear. I doubted my ability to achieve my goals and developed a fear of failure which leads to the thought “why try?”

We want to feel good but subconsciously, we resist it. Doubt and fear, among other things cloud the positive thoughts and feelings we could be having. The thoughts and feelings that could help us achieve what we want to achieve are gone and replaced with thoughts and feelings that hold us back. Why do we do this to ourselves? Why does our brain not want us to be happy? I know this doesn’t apply to all people. Some people have that inner drive to go out and do the things they want to do. Unfortunately, I am not that person.

Doubt

Doubt is a major factor in my resistance to feeling good. Doubt has been woven throughout all my life. I question everything I do. Am I good enough? Am I capable? All these questions come to mind. I get a new assignment at work and the doubt really comes flooding in. I worry about what others may think and I doubt my ability to show that I am capable to these people. I also care too much about what other people think.

Fear

There is some fear that plays a role here. I fear taking the next step and I fear the outcome. If I take the step, get past my doubt, what will happen? It becomes fear of the unknown. Am I going to fail? Fear really undermines us. It keeps us from the doing.

Self-Sabotage

I have been sitting and thinking about this one. I really do self-sabotage myself. If I know something is good for me, I won’t do it. There is this blocker in my mind that keeps me from doing the thing that I need to do. Or I do things that are not healthy for me.

To sum it up, there seems to always be a battle in my head. I think it very strange that there is so much push back in the brain when in nature, survival is key. The above does not contribute to a happy life but I suppose it’s possible to just be in survival mode and not thriving mode. How can we thrive?

Thriving

Those that are with me on these feelings, we have to practice self-compassion. We are human and make mistakes but that is okay. Strive to be what you want to be and pursue your goals without doubt or fear. Look back at past achievements. Sometimes we have to dig deep for great things we’ve done in the past because we might not believe it about ourselves; that we have done something great.

Exercise helps. Studies have shown that exercise is just as effective as medication. I have yet to try this. One of the things I’m having a difficult time with is exercise. I tell myself to get up in the morning and jump on the elliptical but I’m like, “it’s so warm, I don’t want to move.”

Nutrition is key to help the body feel better and then the mind will follow. This is a task in progress for me. Even in the new year, I could not give up my sweets. I need to work on this.

Regular sleep refreshes you and your mind. We need about 8 hours of sleep every night. Luckily, I generally get about 8 hours and then not want to get up. They say that getting up after a good night’s sleep is important to mental health. Perhaps another contribution to my mental state.

Journaling is a good tool and I feel like I talk about journaling a lot. I force myself to journal and I am glad when I do. I am glad getting my feelings out here too. This is also like a journal to me. I have heard though, do not put yourself through heavy emotional output before bed, so be mindful when you journal something heavy. It can affect your sleep.

I think we all know what is good for us, we just need to do it. Even though I hate when people think that we can just snap out it, we at least have to do some small things to help ourselves and eventually all the small will add up. I have to remember this myself. Small progress still matters.